small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
