I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize