Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
