Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize