I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
