hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
