his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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