how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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