I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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