Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
