Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
