I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This house was built for laser tag.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
