At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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