Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize