this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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