i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think my moral compass just broke
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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