Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
