so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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