We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
