When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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