I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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