so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
