Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
