Nicole vs. Life
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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