dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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