i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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