garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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