Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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