so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize