I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
