That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
PANTIES FOUND
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
