he puts the penis in happiness.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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