And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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