marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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