Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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