OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
