it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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