I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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