I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
