Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize