He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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