that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
