$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i think my cat just said my name.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
