Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
