I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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