It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
