I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize