smell my finger.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
