I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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