last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
