You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
