I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize