I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
