Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
