I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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