He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
