So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
