You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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