i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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