put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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