Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
