Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
