she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
