Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
