Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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