I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize