I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
