You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
