he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
