Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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