I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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