your thong is hanging out like whoa
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
