omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
