you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize