"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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