69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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