What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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