I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize