Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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