and you said cock pushups were impossible
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize