I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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