Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There r osticjed everywhere
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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